This article may contain affiliate/compensated links. For full information, please see our Disclaimer here.

Self defense is not about fighting.

It’s about surviving. That’s why we call ourselves survivors.

Even so, one must still prepare for battle. Self defense is 90% caution and 10% confrontation. As Mr. Miyagi says (and we’re paraphrasing here), we train to fight so that we don’t have to.

To help you learn how to defend yourself like a true Tough Cookie, here are our top TC-tested moves, which I like to affectionately call…

The ABCs of Self Defense.

These are the basic steps to follow every time you go anywhere or encounter anything that could potentially put your life in danger. This is your step-by-step guide to navigate any such situation. A veritable alphabet soup of wisdom to live by.

So digest these ABCs one at a time, in this order. The order is important. Because again, the best protection is prevention. So you’re gonna want to stay in step A if you can. But if you can’t, only then move on to step B and try that option. If that doesn’t work, only then move on to C, and so on.

Got it? Good.

Then grab a spoon and let’s dish it out!


A is for Avoid

Click to watch Archer animated TV series
Click to Watch “Archer”

In self defense, there is no surer means of protection than prevention. So situational awareness is key. Learn to be aware of any potentially dangerous or suspicious situations around you, in order to try and avoid them altogether.


B is for Backtrack

Click to watch Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs classic movie
Click to Watch “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”

If you do find yourself in danger, the next best step is to find an exit route and get the hell out of there as quickly (and safely) as you can. Remember this handy acronym, ETGS: Escape To Gain Safety. This is your ONLY goal in self defense.


C is for Control

Click to watch Tangled movie
Click to Watch “Tangled”

If and only if you absolutely cannot escape, only then do you prepare to fight. It’s vital that you assert control of yourself and the situation. Get your body into a ready stance, know your moral and legal boundaries, and call attention to yourself to attract witnesses and (hopefully) de-escalate the situation.


D is for Defend

Click to watch the original Aladdin animated movie
Click to Watch “Aladdin”

If de-escalation doesn’t work and you MUST physically fight off your attacker, then fight back only as much as is necessary to escape to safety. This is crucial for your legal protection. You can use ETGS again to know where to strike your attacker: Eyes, Throat, Groin, Shin/Stomach.


E is for Evaluate & Evince

Click to watch Futurama animated TV series
Click to Watch “Futurama”

As soon as you get to safety, as hard as it may be, it’s important you find an authority figure and report what happened. Don’t let your assailant get away with it. It happens far too often. But remember, you are strong. Even if you’re scared. True courage comes from facing fear, not the absence of it. Like a muscle, healing what’s broken will make you even stronger. You are a survivor. And you are not alone. We all need support to heal.


F is for Familiarize

Click to watch the original Mulan animated movie
Click to Watch “Mulan”

Practice, practice, practice. Practice may not always make perfect, but it does make prepared. In a real attack, you will only have a split second to react. So self defense needs to be instinct. Rehearse these ABCs until they are firmly engrained in your mind and muscle memory.


Learn all the ways a Tough Cookie prepares to defend herself, whether staying at home or traveling abroad. Join my Tough Cookie Self Defense Course, the first truly comprehensive women’s self defense online course that’s designed FOR women like you BY a woman who’s been through it too.

Because you are not alone. I got your back.

This is self defense the Tough Cookie way, with my simple step-by-step system as easy to learn as your ABCs.


P is for Pin It!

Elements of Self-Defense | Want to learn how to defend yourself? Check out my essential women's self-defense guide with easy-to-remember steps to help you avoid, assess, defend against, and recover from any dangerous threats you encounter on your travels. #selfdefense #womenselfdefense #womensselfdefense