To say I’ve had an unconventional career is an understatement.
I’m a professional chameleon and multipotentialite… which, in other words, means I’m in a constant state of work identity crisis.
I don’t know if I’d even characterize it as a “career” since it hasn’t stuck to one clear career path.
I’ve gone from theatre to wildland firefighting to Google to film stunts to video & event production to teaching self defense to business consulting, many of these simultaneously, and with so many other mini adventures in between.
I’ve built businesses, made films, written books & poetry, danced competitively, empowered & saved lives, traveled to nearly every US state & many other countries, and worked with some truly incredible human beings.
And yet, it’s never enough. There’s always more I could be doing, could be learning and experiencing.
I get bored easily. I crave change. That’s both a blessing and a curse.
My greatest fear in life — even more than death — is to be stuck in one place (physically and/or mentally), unchanging and stagnant.
I don’t even fear death much, because I’m always living as if I could die tomorrow and life is short and there isn’t a moment to waste. I’ve had such a crazy and beautiful life already that I almost feel I could die tomorrow and I’d be okay with that.
Almost.
The only reason that would make me sad is the thought of all the adventures and knowledge as yet not had that I’d be missing out on by dying too soon.
And yet, one can never experience everything everywhere in one lifetime. So there’s always some element of understanding that, of finding satisfaction in the journey as much as the final outcome, and letting that be enough sometimes.
I love the journey. I love the exploration. That’s as much the goal as the final destination. That’s why I’m a chameleon, because I’m a student of process and environment, an admirer of nuance and detail, enamored with the challenge of adapting as I go wherever I go.
So naturally this makes for an interesting and irregular ride.
But it’s also one fraught with impatience, anxiety, and self-doubt.
Life’s inevitable obstacles often get in the way of that multifarious journey, confusing my sense of direction and faculty. Every few years or so, I find myself once again facing the question —
“Now what?” “What do I want to do now?” “Where do I go next?”
And if it’s a particularly bad situation that’s brought me back to this point, there’s also a certain amount of panic with —
“How do I get out of where I am now so that I can regain the mental strength and clarity to decide where to go next?”
It always stems from the same place of feeling lost and having no idea which professional direction I really want to be going that will make me happy and help me find my purpose.
Now thankfully, I never stay lost for terribly long, at least not in the immediate sense. As much as I love to explore and intentionally get lost in discovering new places, I also have a fantastic sense of direction and usually find my bearings pretty quickly. So I’ll figure out where I am and want to go next, and then next, one step at a time. And in hindsight, I can see the path those steps have led me to.
But at any given moment, I’m usually in some overall state of lost.
Then when this feeling of being professionally lost continues for longer than usual, it becomes an unbearable weight that I can’t carry anymore. Eventually and inevitably, I break down. I have hit this wall roughly every few years my entire professional life.
Somehow it takes me by surprise every time, even though I’ve been here before. And every time, it concludes with me making a leap to something completely different (Monty Python, anyone?) down another exciting path that fulfills me, at least for another short while, in my never-ending quest to find my true purpose(s). To find that next niche or project or role that truly clicks. That feels like exactly where I need to be at that moment, and gives me enormous joy and energy (at least far more than it takes away, because all work does a little).
And for a little blissful while, I do have this feeling. But then it always fades too quickly, in my case roughly every 3 to 4 years. Which also makes it hard to stick with something long enough to get much better than moderately good at it.
Then I hit another wall, have another breakdown, and realize I need to change course again. Like reliving a car crash over and over in slow motion.
Not that my career has always been that painful. Perhaps that’s a bit dramatic to say. But there have certainly been breakdowns, and those have certainly been painful. And that’s usually a good sign that something needs to change.
I do always eventually manage to make a change when needed. That hurts a bit too, as all change does. But it’s worth it to keep exploring and growing as a person and a professional.
Again, this multipotentialite “career” is not an easy path.
The older I get, the harder it is to switch paths entirely and start over fresh with something completely new. No matter how badly I want to do something completely new. Because I haven’t yet tried everything I want to. There’s still so much more I want to do, and it’s getting harder and harder to do that.
But then, whose path is easy? And the things most worth doing in life are rarely the easiest.
It’s honestly starting to feel easier to be complacent and stay where I am. Once you have built the ability to get consistent work that pays what you need to live your best life, at this stage in your life, it gets increasingly hard to give that up.
And why? Just to fulfill some need to try other things, and this nagging feeling that I haven’t yet found what I’m meant to do.
Do you ever have that feeling?
Like your your true calling, or at least your next ideal pursuit, is still out there somewhere. You don’t know where it is or what it is, but you know that this right here, where you are now, is not it. And you can’t explain it, because where you are now isn’t so bad.
Others might be perfectly happy staying here, so why can’t you?
But I just can’t be.
I know I can’t be. And yet the pressures of society and real world obligations and costs of living have held me back from leaving. The realities of life try to stop me from taking the next leap and exploring onward. And I hate it. But I don’t blame it.
We all know what it’s like to get on a path and just keep going because it makes sense and is more financially sound and everything around you rewards you for staying on course, and then one day you turn around and realize that isn’t a path you want.
I’ve been there too. Yes, despite my fairly frequent career leaps and bounds, some phases of my journey have consisted more of small pivots within the same industry that still slowly suffocated me. Even I have turned around and discovered that I’m not where I want to be and don’t know how I got here.
So what’s someone like us to do about that?
Well it’s especially important for professional multipotentialites like us to stay on top of it. We need to keep an eye on where we are and where we want to go, and never lose sight of that. Because where we want to go is more varied and unconventional than average, and therefore the path to get there will be constantly changing and harder to navigate.
So you wanna know the key to surviving this kind of a professional lifestyle? I believe it’s about identifying what core values matter most to you and then never compromising those.
I’ve developed a system over the years that helps you identify your 10 core values or needs — what you must have to wake up energized and go to bed fulfilled every day — and then weigh them against every possible professional (and, if you like, personal) opportunity to guide your decisions.
I call it the Occupation Exploration Workbook and it’s available now on Gumroad for whatever amount you deem fair. Mi comprensión es su comprensión. We gotta help each other out y’all, now more than ever.
So if you’re like me, even a little bit, and struggle with what you want to do next, then perhaps you too will benefit from a little guided Occupation Exploration. A little guidance on your professional journey in search of that illusive mistress: fulfillment.
If you can relate to this predicament I’ve shared here, then this is your call to action too.
Don’t wait. Time is a-ticking, and we’re not gonna be young forever (if you could call me young now). And your next purpose or path might not have the patience to keep waiting for you forever.
They say timing is everything. And time is the one resource we can’t make any more of.
So take this as a kick in the butt to make a change now, while you have the time. Before it’s too late.
